This is what happens when I have a lot going on in my head...

To start off this post I have to say it is quite late and if the comments I make or the phrases I form as of this moment don't make sense I then apologize in advance for my mishaps and I will be greatly ashamed of my writing. I will ridicule myself in the future. The reason in which I am posting an entry this late in the evening is due to my one friend who had just spent the evening at my house discussing current events in our lives (not like they are Channel Six worthy or anything) but I've come to the conclusion that I do seem to have a pretty good life at the moment.
To go into further detail in that statement would seem irresponsible or even shocking looking through my past posts...Anyways what I've really mean by this is with all of the troubles, sorrows and scares that occur within the world my problems seem to have the most disgusting grasp on my life these days. People have it so much worse then I do...Truly I am grateful for everything given to me but sometimes those things don't even seem to be enough. Now that I am sitting down here, reflecting about my life and everyone involved in it, I know that I don't have it all that bad. Sometimes I wonder if I am doing everything I'm capable of doing. In that sense I mean to say that I was born with many talents...Not to say I am the best at whatever comes my way, ha ha not at all to be frank. I could have done anything I set my mind to when I was younger and that's when those words of wisdom my parents used to tell me gets thrown at my face...Everything in life is choice; what you eat when you get up to bed, how you choose to clothe yourself, if you choose to stay fit and exercise to the people you hang out with. The question is, am I choosing the right path with my life? No one ever knows if what they are doing with their lives is the right thing but we all seem to have intuition with what feels good and what makes us happy or happiest in our lives. So far I haven't chosen to go to school and now I'm wondering if that was the right choice. I'm glad that my mother has shown me that setting goals in life really does help outline what you can accomplish with the right amount of time needed. She's always told me, "Heather you can do anything you put your mind to". Some days I believed her, other days I wished I knew how she had so much confidence in me and still does to this day. I guess time will be the only thing that really holds the answers to all of life's questions.
I'll just have to wait and see.
Until the next time,
<3

Gossip Girl....

So I've been addicted completely and utterly to the show that has everyone on their toes, gossip girl.
I can't talk much.
Until the next time,
<3
P.s. I have some ranting to do on the next post.

I hate technology!

I AM SOOO FRUSTRATED AT THE MOMENT!
I know that i was suppose to post a video blog on this entry, but at the moment I am ready to throw my computer across the room and then take the remaining fragments and shove it into the toilet. For some unknown apparent reason that is beyond my knowledge I can't seem to receive any emails and my msn has deleted all of my contacts. Yesterday evening I had to complete the most tedious amount of work possible. I had to continuously add (one by one, I might add) everyone single person that has ever existed on my contact list. The problem with that is I have had this email since I was 10 years old, I am now 20. After completing that task my msn list was still not working properly!
My email hasn't been receiving any notifications from facebook or my friends from France and I am soooo irritated.
Hopefully I work all of this out. My iPhone is also effected by my computer because it's connected to my email.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
Anyways until the next time,
<3

A New Idea....

So I've decided to try a new method of blogging and this is video blogging. Tomorrow after work i'll be able to record myself and blog what about my thoughts and dreams. I'm not sure what i'll like better, but whats wrong with trying.
Until the next time,
<3

Ottawa Postsssssss!!!!

Hello there fellow bloggers!
Finally I have the time to sit down and make another entry. A lot of things have occurred since I last posted anything particularly new. My good friend Holly and I had just passed the weekend in Ottawa Canada, which was quite the experience. We planned on going through with the plan about one month ago before my fantastic twentieth birthday (which I might add has been going on rather long). The week consisted of the constant melody of birthday cheers and drinking, over all I passed a great week... To finish off the festivities Holly and I jumped on a bus for 6 hours and headed to the capital of Canada. We arranged to have our own hotel. This was the first time the both of us booked an hotel on our own and to be quite frank it was very nice. WE HAD THE LARGEST BED KNOW TO MAN! The weekend involved extreme eating and visiting with holly’s friend (which is now my friend Kellie) and my cousin. I do have to mention there was an extreme amount of shopping taking place as well. Most of my money went to new clothes and gifts!  It was a wonderful change and was a great way to get out of the city and just relax. Not going to lie though, I really did miss my family. Holly is a great person to travel with but Ottawa has always reminded me of being with my family/my exchange partner.
Speaking of my exchange partner, she recently has made the journey home from Japan in which she was residing for just about one year. I am sooooo happy to be able to finally speak with her over the phone. My darling theo also decided to phone me on my cell phone while I was in Ottawa. All of my friends were left me a beautiful message which really made my day.
Now I must get back to reality and work...Which really I am not to happy about, but it’s the only way i am able to travel again. Just four more months until I get on that plane and head to France!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!
Anyways...It’s really hurting my eyes continuously typing this lovely little blurb.
Until the next time,
<3

Birthday Blabber...

First I must add that I am now officially no longer within the teenage years!
I am now officially an adult! Ha Ha! I had such a wonderful birthday this past weekend. All of the people I love and care about found a place in their hearts and decided to come and visit me at my favourite local restaurant. I must admit there was about 25 people who came to see me on Monday night and I was very proud to call each and every one of them my friends. On Sunday (the actual day of my birth) I spent it with my father and sister. We ended up traveling to the United States for a little meeting my sister needed to attend for her rotary exchange. I am not going to lie, it was probably one of the most boring things I could have chosen to do on my birthday, but none the less, I was happy to be with my family instead of waking up alone ha ha!
We then ventured off in the city of Buffalo to find the birth place of the greatest food known to man...THE CHICKEN WING! It was a very interesting place to be, very "historic" if you catch my drift. The place was full of memorabilia, holding half motorcycles and photo frames of famous people who had decided to drop by for a taste of the spectacular new food invention. My father, sister and I indulged ourselves in great pizza and talked about how old I truly am ha ha! After that I found myself heading out with my cousin Colin and friend josh to the home of a person I am very fond of. I drank....Well I drank TOO much wine but had a great time.
That was pretty much what had occurred over my birthday weekend. Overall it was a successful time. Now unfortunately comes crunch time, I must work my little butt off so I will be able to afford my luxurious voyage to France. I can't believe how fast time is actually passing. It feels only yesterday it was November and my mother was celebrating her birthday. Sadly though, I must bid adieu to this little entry. My friend is coming over now as I finish up, fine tuning the details of our little escapade to Ottawa this coming weekend!
Until the next time,
<3

Pretty Much A Couch Potato

Ha ha! All I've done today is sit on my butt and watch t.v. and I haven't accomplished a thing! The only thing making me feel better about my lazy day is that I've read a little bit of my book. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it but I've really started reading again and I'm quite proud :D !! I can't think of anything more relaxing then sitting down in mid afternoon with a book and a freshly made tea. I seem to be doing a lot of different things to get my mind off of the fact that within 4 days I will be leaving my teenage years. I will be entering official adulthood. HOW SCARY IS THAT THOUGHT?! What have I accomplished already? Have I lived my life to it's fullest?! What will happen during the next year?! Will I change?! Will I fall in love again?! It actually does sound quite silly when I ask these questions because everyone deals with the unknown everyday...I can't seem to fathom as to why this birthday is having such an affect on me. I wasn't going to celebrate it at all until my mom suggested having a little get together with some of my good friends. Come to think of it, I'm glad I did plan something. I know I would have had huge regrets if I didn't. The people who mean most to me shape who I am and have given me some of the best memories of my life so far. I am proud to have them in my life...Even if I do feel a bit lonely these days.
Speaking of feeling lonely, to be quite honest I have felt this way in a long time. I don't feel complete right now. My mother has always said to me that a woman should be in control of her life and never let a man effect her feeling good in anyway...Sadly without a man in my life I think i might feel worse. I have never in my life experienced this emptiness...A void I can't seem to fill. The worst part is I don't know what it is that I need! I've tried dating, I've tried working to get my mind off of it, I've tried traveling but nothing seems to work. Hopefully when I turn 20 i'll start off this new decade with happiness and content feelings. Generally I am not a sad person and I try and keep these emotions locked up on this blog of mine. We will just have to wait and see.
Until the next time,
<3